Why Is My Husband’s Infidelity Causing Me to Feel Guilty?

You feel like you’ve just been punched in the gut. Discovering your husband’s affair was not something you saw coming. As a result, your left wondering why you’re feeling so many emotions, including guilt. After all, this didn’t have anything to do with you. So, why is his infidelity causing feelings of guilt within you?

Infidelity, or the act of being unfaithful, can cause a range of emotions. From anger, shock, and sadness, to shame and guilt; what you’re feeling can take you on a rollercoaster ride you don’t want to be on. So, what now? How can you begin to heal?

Let’s talk about why you may feel so many emotions after discovering your partner’s infidelity.

What are the common emotions after discover’s infidelity?
Marriage is a commitment that takes hard work and devotion. Yet, it’s something you have been loyal to from the moment you said, “I do!” However, you now realize, at some point, his plans changed. The problem is he didn’t inform you. Instead, he broke the promises he made. As a result, you’re feeling a range of emotions and wondering what is normal to feel right now.

In short, the answer is, whatever you’re feeling is normal. Abnormal circumstances, like infidelity, will affect people differently. For example, timing, upbringing, and the relationship can all influence the impact of infidelity. As a result, feelings can vary widely. In general, the emotions you feel can swing from one side of the pendulum to the other within seconds. So, allowing yourself to acknowledge your feelings can be therapeutic and healing. After all, the blindside you were hit with will likely take some time to shake off.

There are many emotions and feelings you may experience after discovering infidelity. Keep in mind; this list is not exclusive. Examples include; sadness, loss, anger, grief, guilt, emptiness, shame, desperation, fear, and annoyance. Why do so many women who experience betrayal wind up with feelings of shame and guilt?

Although the answer varies, emotions like this usually form to deal with the shock. As you try to find answers to “Why” this happened, blame, guilt, and shame are common alternatives to the unknown.

How Can I Begin to Heal After Discovering Infidelity?
There are many aspects to the situation that affect the healing process. Has this happened before? Will you stay together, or is infidelity a deal-breaker for you? Next, do you have children together?

For the first little while, you may not have answers. Or, you may think you have the answers, but a few weeks later, decide you feel differently. However you feel, taking time to search for clarity may be just what you need.

There are many useful activities that can help you combat the negative emotions. After all, infidelity can leave you wondering how to pick up the pieces and start moving toward your new normal. If you feel like you’re stuck, talking to a friend or writing down your emotions can be helpful. Furthermore, self-care becomes critical. Personal hygiene, eating healthy meals, and getting sleep can invoke positive feelings simply by doing them. Likewise, a walk, hike, or any form of endorphin-releasing exercise may help you release feelings of anger and blame.

If you continue to feel stuck or unable to pick up the pieces, we are here for you. At Fort Worth Counseling and Intervention, we can help you with the healing process. Life after infidelity can be happy and fulfilling. We can help you through this difficult time of transition. Call us today.