5 Reasons Why You Can’t Leave Your Abusive Relationship

Why don’t you just leave? That may be a question you hear often if you are living in an abusive relationship. Yet, you know, there’s so much that goes into leaving that you almost dismiss the question. However, you may wonder if there’s something you can do.

Domestic violence is never justified. There are many other forms of abuse as well, but none of them are acceptable. Regardless of your situation, abuse of any kind is not ok. Although you may already know this, there may be reasons you feel like you can’t leave your abusive relationship.

Let’s discuss some ideas worth thinking about when it comes to being in an abusive relationship.

Why is it so hard to leave an abusive relationship?
For friends on the outside, leaving may seem so simplistic. However, there are many reasons why people remain in abusive relationships.

OneLove.org reports that, on average, a person in an abusive relationship will make seven attempts to leave before really leaving for good.

5 reasons why you may feel stuck in your abusive relationship
First, it can be difficult to end a relationship when you don’t have family or friends to turn to for support or safety. In reality, you may not have anywhere to go. This can become even more complicated when children are involved.

Next, it may seem financially impossible. For example, you may be a stay-at-home parent and lack the resources or experience to get a job that will cover all of your expenses. Or, you may be working but are fully aware that it takes two checks to make ends meet.

Another reason could include feelings of overwhelm and fears of uncertainty. Like some, you may feel the threat of your life, or your children’s life will be in real danger if you leave. If you are living in a verbally abusive relationship, hurtful words may have destroyed your confidence and self-esteem.

Furthermore, you may blame yourself for your partner’s behaviors and hang on to hope that they will change. On the contrary, you may feel hopeful or believe them when you’re told, “I’ll never do that again.” Likewise, there may be things about your relationship that you genuinely love.

Finally, you may get stuck in a cycle of justification. “If I do this, then the abuse will end.” “It isn’t as bad as it seems.” “I can handle it.” “My children deserve to live with both parents.”

There are so many reasons why leaving an abusive relationship can be one of the most difficult choices to make. So, what can you do? Is there anywhere to turn?

What Can I Do If I’m In An Abusive Relationship?
AAFP.org reports one in four women and one in nine men in the US experience partner violence. Sadly, you are not alone. There are likely many reasons why you feel like you have to stay in your relationship. However, there are resources available that may be able to help.

There is a national domestic violence hotline and website. The number is 800.799.SAFE (7233) and the website is TheHotline.org. Keep in mind, if you’re worried about leaving a digital track, calling may be a better option.

If you don’t have family or friend support, local clergy leaders can often provide resources specific to your area. Likewise, there are many support groups that may be able to provide you with the validation and support you need. You may find comfort in hearing from others who are in or have been in an abusive relationship.

In the meantime, it may come in handy if you can keep a journal to record what’s going on. This can be helpful for a variety of reasons. For example, it may serve as an emotional release or place where you can work on building your self-esteem and confidence. Likewise, it can serve as a place to document the frequency or details of incidents. Going back and reading your own words can be quite impactful.

At Fort Worth Counseling and Intervention, we understand the complexities of an abusive relationship. You deserve to be safe, loved, and happy. We may be able to help you process the challenges you’re facing and help you sort through all of your options. Please, visit our website or call us today.